This is a FOOTBALL game, right?

"The Raiders have the football."
"He made a great football play"
"The Colts need to get the football back."

Unless this is your first time seeing an NFL game and you came from whatever country it is where the national sport is riding around on horses and throwing a goat carcass hither and yon, then it should be obvious that the brown object at the center of the game is indeed a football. With 40 people in the broadcast both trying to get in a word edge-wise, why Bogart the talk time? Simply say "ball" instead of "football."

Crowded broadcast booths bring  mind a quote from this week's Norman Chad column.

What I don’t understand, I guess, is why ESPN needs to employ 26 — 26! — ex-NFL players and coaches to chatter, babble, jabber, yammer, blather, prattle and rattle on during its never-ending NFL gab fests.
Uh, 26?

If it were up to me, I’d just bring in Artie Donovan and call it a day.

Best I can tell, ESPN is just about the only place in America hiring right now.

Back to the football. Does a football have sides? Is there a difference between one end of the ball and the other?  Are the ends labeled  "defensive" and "offensive?" Then why, for crying out loud, do announcers keep referring to the offensive and defensive sides of the ball (or worse yet, football)?

Note to Mike Tirico and especially Scott Hanson on NFL Red Zone: When it third down according to the sideline marker, the scoreboard, and in the mind of the coaches and game officials, then why the fuck tell us that third down is UPCOMING!"  This pisses me off, especially watching as the EastSide Gas goes down in flames like the Hindenburg.

Does the name Dexter McCluster make you snicker? I need to grow up.

Gotta love Charlie Batch's play calls behind the ball. His voice is a cross between Dick the Bruiser and a large and evil alien. Scary.